"I just want to feel good about myself. I've got really poor self-esteem." We can a read a lot about self-esteem in articles and books. We can go to a week-end seminar and spend about $1500 to learn the secrets of self-esteem. Well, it's not that difficult or expensive. First, describe yourself in four ways: Physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Be honest with yourself. That's your self-image, or how you see yourself. Now, do you like what you see? If you do, that would be positive self-image or good self-esteem. If you don't like what you see, that is poor self-esteem. I know I am simplifying a bit. So, what if you don't like what you see? Well, say the "Serenity Prayer" and change what is possible to change. Please don't do what some folks do; go out and buy something or do something stupid so you don't really have to work on the issues. And don't do this number: "If I was just happier, then I'd feel good about myself."
So many times when we say the above to ourselves or to someone else, what we really mean is "if I just had my way or had all the stuff I want then I would be happy and feel good about myself." Wrong. Oh, so wrong. There is a difference in being happy with our circumstances and being happy with ourselves. True positive self-esteem is not developed from the outside in. It is developed from the inside out. Happiness with ourselves and self-esteem come from living according to our values, even when circumstances make that difficult. So, determine what your genuine values are and then live that way. You'll be happy.
Quotes from "the program"
"This too shall pass"
"First things first"
"Just for today"
"Living in the here and now"
"But for the grace of God"
"Let go and let God"
"Turn it over"
"Willingness is the key"
"God is never late"
"Our need is God's opportunity"
"K.I.S.S. - Keep it simple, stupid"
Sometimes, to avoid addressing the real issues and problems in our lives, we develop defenses that help us to side-step what's really bothering us. At first,these defenses are probably conscious on our part. We know what we are doing and saying, and we know our intentions. With time, we get so used to escaping and avoiding through these defenses that they become sub-conscious. Here they are:
Denial - It's not really happening, or, if I ignore it long enough, it will go away.
Withdrawal and isolation - Pulling away from people, even the one's I like.
Rage - Driving others away from us so they won't notice what's really going on.
Perfectionism - Being so good that folks might believe I have no problems.
Arrogance - Combined with perfectionism, this is deadly to the spirit. Not only am I good, but I'm better than others.
From Recovery Notes
Pain Reliever Abuse
A report from the Samhsa Office of Applied Studies (July 15, 2010) reports the pain reliever admissions increased by 440% from the years of 1998-2008.
More Quotes from "the program"
"God will never give you more than you can handle."
"Identify. Don't compare."
"Take it easy."
"Keep coming back. It works if you work it."
"Sobriety is a journey, not a destination."
"If you don't want to slip, avoid slippery places."
"Clean up your side of the street."
"No one is too dumb for the program, but many are too smart."
"You can't give away what you don't have."
"Cunning, baffling, and powerful."
"Be part of the solution, not part of the problem."
"Change is a process, not an event."
Dr. Candace McDaniel 8021 East Thornton Fwy, Suite A Dallas, Texas 75228