Self Defeating Rules That Can Affect Your Recovery

1. Don't make mistakes. Consider the idea that to make mistakes can be useful. Many times, mistakes are almost necessary in the learning process.
2. Try to be good at everything, or at least pretend that you know everything. Consider the reality that everyone has limitations.
3. The less you disclose about yourself, the better off you will be. In reality, it is impossible to have close meaningful relationships without trust, confidences, and personal revelations.
4. You are a victim of circumstances. Our lives unfold according to our own plans instead of just happening to us. We have the ability to change our direction, if we wish.
5. Other people are happy. Everyone has problems, hang-ups, limitations, and insecurities. Virtually everyone in this world has been sad, frustrated, and depressed.
6. Let your anger out. There is a difference between experiencing feelings of anger and the outward expression of rage toward another person. Letting Your Anger Out usually involves the loss of control.
7. Make sure that you please other people and that they like and approve of you. People who try to please everybody tend to end up being nothing to themselves. When are are nothing to yourself, how can you be something to anyone else.
8. Try to become totally independent and self sufficient. Instead, learn to ask for help. Become part of an inter-dependent fellowship.
9. If you ignore problems, they will go away. Taking the "easy way" out is often more taxing and exhausting, both in the short and the long run.
10. Strive for perfection. Focus on competence and realistic goals. To insist on perfection in yourself and others usually leaves us unhappy and disappointed. Accepting the truth that we are fallible beings does not mean we have no goals or that we avoid being motivated.