Sometimes in our journey we have so much to make
amends for that we lose sight of our own worth. In our past we have
used and abused others so much that we come to believe we don't deserve
to be treated right in our relationships. Nothing could be further from
the truth! If you believe the lie though, you may not even be noticing
just how badly you are being treated, either overtly or in more subtle
ways. The following is a list of possible characteristics of batterers.
A push for quick involvement: The individual comes on
strong, claiming, "I've never felt loved like this ever by anyone.
quot; An abuser will pressure the other person for an exclusive
commitment almost immediately in the relationship.
Jealousy: The individual is excessively possessive, calls
constantly or visits unexpectedly; prevents you from going to work or
other places because you "might meet someone." This person will do
things like check the mileage on your vehicle or go through your
Controlling: The individual interrogates you intensely
(also sometimes very subtly) about a variety of issues like who you
talked to or where you were. They want to manage all the money and
insists you ask permission to go anywhere or do anything without them.
Unrealistic expectations: He/she expects you to be the
perfect man/woman and meet their every need.
Isolation: He/she tries to cut you off from your family and
friends. They accuse people who are your support ers of "causing
trouble". The abuser may even try to deprive you of a phone or a
Blames others for Problems or mistakes: Whatever happens,
it is always someone else's fault if anything goes wrong. This
individual has great difficulty in accepting responsibility for their
own decisions, actions, or problems. At some point, they will blame you
for just about everything!
Makes everyone else responsible for their feelings: The
abuser says, "You make me angry," or "You're hurting me by not doing
what I tell you," or "You make me happy."
Hypersensitivity: This person is easily insulted, claiming
that their feelings are hurt when he/she are really angry. They will
rant about the injustice of things that are just a part of life.
Cruelty to animals and children: The abuser often kills or
punishes animals brutally. They may expect children to do things that
are beyond their ability (may spank a two year old for wetting a
diaper) or may tease them until they cry.
"Playful" use of force during sex: He often enjoys throwing
you down or holding you down against your will during sex. He may say
he finds the idea of rape exciting.
Verbal abuse: He/she constantly criticizes you or says
blatantly cruel, hurtful things, degrading things, and curses.
conitnued in the next column
Clinic hours on Saturday are
OA - Overeaters Anonymous
6:00 am to 9:00 am
Closed on Sunday
Problem Gamblers Help-Line
Please remember to bring
SA - Sex/Love Addicts Annon.
your lock boxes.
Recovery is a Journey cont.
Rigid gender roles: He expects you to serve, obey, and
remain at home.
Sudden mood swings: The abuser frequently switches from
being loving to explosively violent in a matter of minutes.
Past battering: He admits hitting women in the past and
excuses the behavior by saying that they made him do it, or that the
situation brought it on.
Threats of violence: He/she make statements like, "I'll
break your neck," or "I'll kill you," and then dismiss the threat with
a statement like, "Everybody talks that way," or "I didn't really mean
You are a very special person! And you deserve to
be treated with dignity and respect. One of the reasons you started
into your recovery was due to a desire for something better in your
life. Please don't "settle" in your relationships for someone who does
not treat you like gold.
Beating the Odds: Help for
Slot machines pouring out quarters, roulette
wheels spinning, and people gathering around blackjack and poker tables
is part of an exciting evening or weekend away from home for some
people. For others, gambling is an addiction that causes financial,
marital, job-related, and emotional problems that require treatment.
Possible signs of problem gambling:
Losing time from work due to gambling.
Repeatedly promising to stop gambling, yet returning to it
again and again.
Borrowing money to gamble or to pay gambling debts.
Lying to cover up gambling activity.
Suffering from feelings of remorse or depression due to
Gambling until the last dollar is gone.
Protecting Your Finances:
Remove the gamblers name from all credit cards.
Have the gambler's paycheck deposited into an account that
is in your name only, and agree to a weekly cash budget.
Call creditors and explain the gambler's problem and offer
to work on a restitution plan.
You may even need to have your name removed from any joint
credit cards, saving, or checking accounts.
Alert all creditors to the problem and ask them not to
extend any more credit.
Open a separate safe-deposit box to store valuables.
Shift control of all finances to a non-gambler.
adapted from SAMHSA News
"The truth is the truth,even if you don't
"Faith is the acceptance of truth,
We are Meeting Every
8:30 AM to 9:15 AM
The procedure is called auricular acupuncture. It is helpful for a
variety of issues that affect those with addictions.
Please see your counselor.
County Health Department is offering screening for sexually transmitted
diseases. The fee is $25. If you can't afford to pay the full
amount, a payment plan can be arranged. Please call before 7:45 AM
to schedule an appointment. 214-819-2000
HIV Testing Offered
Almost every Friday, a member of the HEI department from the Greater
Dallas Counsel on Alcohol and Drug Abuse are here to offer free
HIV testing. The test is called "OraQuick Advance." The test is based
on saliva and you get your results in 20 minutes. The test is 99%
accurate. All you do is come in and asked to be tested.
Helps cleanse your body of toxins. You will feel better. 30 minutes.
Dr. Candace McDaniel
8021 East R.L. Thornton Fwy, Suite A
Dallas, Texas 75228