Recovery is a Journey
"When we search less, we find
more." Rick Bingham
Pretty often, I get asked, "How can a person be
happy? I just want to be happy." I know there's been a lot written
about happiness and how to find self-fulfillment. I think it is really
very simple: Decide what your values are and then live that way. There
are principles to notice.
- Being happy with yourself is not the same as being happy
with your circumstances. Being satisfied with how things are going is
not genuine or lasting happiness. It is totally dependent on your
health, how your job is going, how your relationships are faring, how
much money you have, how good your kids are doing with their school
work, etc. Many times, people have all the right things and all the
right people and are still incredibly unhappy.
- Values that are not shown in our daily lives are not really
values at all. They are only neat ideas.
- Many times, following through with our values will create
unhappy circumstances. Now, I am not talking about the "red-neck"
comedy hour kind of situation of openly answering the question: "Honey,
do you think I
look fat in this dress?" Openly answering that question would
definitely create some unhappiness for both parties. What I am
addressing is overtly lying to those we come into contact with daily.
For instance, an individual may say that one of their values is to not
steal from anyone, for any reason. That same person admits they take an
extra 10 minutes break at work whenever they can get away with it. One
of the reasons that person struggles with feeling a true sense of
happiness will be because they are not truly abiding by their values.
Another example would be someone who says they value their health, but
keep on smoking. True self-esteem comes from living our values.
- If we are living by our values, there will be people in our
lives who can confirm that we actually do what we say we believe.
So, what are values? Values are what is important
to us. Here is a list of possible values:
Now, pick your values, ones that you believe are
the most important to you. The next step is to be brutally honest with
yourself. Do you really live by your values…even when it is hard to do
so? And finally, ask someone who knows you well if they think you live
up to your values. Their answers may be surprising to you.
How are you feeling about yourself? If you are
truly living by your values, you probably feel pretty good about
yourself no matter what your circumstances. This is what having
positive self-esteem is all about! What if your answer is you are not
feeling very good about yourself? Then, it is time to take a hard look
at how you are, or how you are not living up to your values. Next,
change your behavior to match those values.
Living this way will not bring you a new car, a
better house, a great job, or a good looking lover. What is will give
you is peace of mind, the kind that is hard to explain, just accept.
|Clinic hours on Saturday are
||OA - Overeaters Anonymous
"The most difficult thing in the world is to
know how to do a thing and to watch somebody else doing it wrong,
"My mother taught me very early to believe I
could achieve any accomplishment I wanted to. The first was to walk
"Stop the mindless wishing that things be
different. Rather than wasting time and emotional and spiritual energy
in explaining why we don't have want we want, we can start to pursue
other ways to get it."
"A thought which does not result in an action
is nothing much, and an action which does not proceed from a thought is
nothing at all."
"If you don't change your beliefs, your life
will be like this forever. Is that good news?"
Dr. Robert Anthony
"It is better to believe than to disbelieve,
in so doing you bring everything to the realm of possibility."
"To give real service you must add something
which cannot be bought or measured with money…and that is sincerity and
Donald A. Adams
"A long, healthy, and happy life is the
result of making contributions, of having meaningful projects that are
personally exciting and contribute to and bless the lives of others."
"Do the right thing. It will gratify some
people and astonish the rest."
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|Mothers Against Meth-Amph.